It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
