So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
