My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
