my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
