it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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