obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
