FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
