I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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