she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
