I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
