am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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