Got a toothbrush?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
