Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
