how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
