going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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