Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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