YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
