The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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