What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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