i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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