Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
