3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
