but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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