he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
