Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
