Im at strip club and am horny
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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