Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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