She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
