Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
