I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
