Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
