is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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