the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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