it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
