You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
