How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
