You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
