PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
