dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just google imaged poop.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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