Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
