Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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