Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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