The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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