I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
