I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
