she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
