By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They are going to name an STD after you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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