His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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