so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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