Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
