I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
