You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
