so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
